Reviews

Legless

C.O.F.F.I.N. Children of Finland Fighting in Norway LP

Here’s a band that does the sleaze-rock-meets-heavy-metal sound with some actual flair—not to mention brains. From track one, you know what you’re in for, as whining dog leads and the classic “slam on the piano” riff set the stage for rhythmic pyrotechnics and lead singer Ben Portnoy’s incredibly commanding growl. This band raises hell in a way most rock bands forget how to, and they don’t sound the least bit stale for all their reference (and reverence) to the hazy halls of hallowed rock that came before. Part of what makes the formula so fresh is that there’s clearly more thinking going on than the group might want to let on at first. Take some of the lyrics from ripper “Cecila”: “Volunteer your story to your new chosen friend / Treat it like a rag through the back of your head / Follow suit, dirty the bowl / Dread dripping from your pockets as you power home.” That’s practically out of a novel for my money, and it lends serious pathos to a record that’s more than just a good time (although it is also most certainly that). Unreal record. Stone classic that breathes smoke and pukes fire.

Cutters Chewed Up Fortune EP

Remember a simpler time when you knew fuck-all about punk and just wanted to rage as hard as you could with some of the early records you found out through your friend’s older sibling? This is the feeling you get from Melbourne punks CUTTERS’ EP. They take every early DEAD KENNEDYS album, cut it, chew it up, and spit it out. A fun record for pure hardcore punk lovers. Short, fast, and to-the-point, just like this review!

Cutters Australian War Crimes EP

This release from Melbourne’s CUTTERS consists of six tracks of hardcore punk reminiscent of early “No Parasan”-era FUCKED UP, with songs about the bleakness and emptiness of modern society and a title track in reaction to war crimes committed by Australian SAS soldier Ben Roberts-Smith in Afghanistan. Without resorting to gothy post-punk or anarcho-punk aesthetics, CUTTERS manage to sonically mirror the very dark realities of our world, with rage coming from the daily disgust and depressive nature of self-claimed proud nations and their patriotic cultures. which seems to be a relatable reality many face around the world.

Jackson Reid Briggs & The Heaters Waiting in a Corner LP

There isn’t much better than a really good Aussie punk record. It’s equal parts boozy grit, hazy dreariness, and urban beach angst. JACKSON REID BRIGGS & THE HEATERS have some of that going for them, minus the really forgettable band name. There’s a little SAINTS “Know Your Product” bigness of sound, a hint of RADIO BIRDMAN’s guitar theatrics, and a touch of the beautiful melancholy of “This Week” by CELIBATE RIFLES. Unfortunately, this is like the PAT BOONE version of all that, lacking the subversive kick and weirdness of all their possible influences. There’s no character or desperation here, nor even an accent present. There’s some moments like the aptly named “Feel It” where they almost get it, but it’s just not enough. They have a fuck-ton of releases and there is no lack of writing on them via the internet. I imagine you’re either a fan or not by this point. I’d sadly be in the latter group here.

Leatherman Telephone / Tryin’ 2 4get 7″

Female-fronted power pop from Australia. I’m digging this right off the bat. The riffs are super catchy. It’s got guitar, it’s got bass, it’s got drums, but none of it in excess. It’s got balance. Hell, it’s even got handclaps! Two cuts and both are really working. This one is worth looking for.

Phil & the Tiles Double Happiness LP

Here’s something that’s been bugging me since this Melbourne act dropped their debut, 2022’s Health/Body EP: what up with this band name? It feels like a pun (along the lines of PHIL ‘N’ THE BLANKS), but not one that makes any sense, and of the six whole-ass people in the band, nobody is named Phil. Then there’s the track “Ode to Phil,” one of this record’s gentler tracks and one seemingly about a superhero named Catgirl. Wut? Thankfully, in doing research for this review, I found that Gimme Gimme Gimme (an excellent zine shedding light on Aussie acts) had gotten to the bottom of this! Turns out Phil was a cat the singer lived with (while rooming with Lewis Hodgson of CIVIC) who often cooled off by laying on the kitchen tiles. Feels good to have that cleared up! So, yeah, this album picks up where they left off on that debut EP. Their core sound is very much in the vein of EDDY CURRENT SUPPRESSION RING or UV RACE—chatty post-punk with some new wave and garage around the edges—but, with six folks in the band, they’ve got too broad of a pool of musical influences to ignore. So, you get stuff like the working class psychedelia of the COSMIC PSYCHOS bleeding in, or tracks where they bump up the aggression and new-wave-iness to LOST SOUNDS-ish results, or even a track where they strip back their typically big sound to a something approaching ESG’s minimal funk punk. Personally, I think they sound best when they play it straight—”The Watcher,” which sounds like a more tuneful version of peak UV RACE, is one of my favorite songs of the year. In any event, whatever they’re playing, they sound like they’re having a blast doing it, making for an immensely listable record.

Polute Dirty Swig EP

Can Lemmy really die when bands like POLUTE are banging it out like this? Four blistering tracks of Motörpunk from Australia, roaring along smelling of black leather and motor oil. Drummer/vocalist Ben Portnoy’s singing style is very Oi!, which puts the band’s sound more on the punk side. If their Bandcamp is to be believed, they wrote the demo in one jam session and recorded it in three hours. But there’s nothing sloppy or thrown together here, it’s just straightforward, fast, raw rock’n’roll.

Speed Week Hey Hey It’s Speed Week 12″

SPEED WEEK is a newish band out of Melbourne who play pretty straightforward punky pub rock. Unlike their yobbo contemporaries the CHATS or AMYL AND THE SNIFFERS, who fall somewhere between a little winky and total caricatures, SPEED WEEK just seems like some lads who wanna get together up the pub and bang out some chunes. And they do on this mini LP—solid ones! What stood out most on this release were the lyrics. They’re as plain-spoken as you’d expect given the genre, but they’re also surprisingly earnest. One of the best tracks, “Equine Dream”, is an anti-Melbourne Cup tune (for Americans, think of the Kentucky Derby crossed with a frat party…or maybe just the Preakness). It’s written from the point of view of a racehorse who’s resenting his life of being drugged-up and trotted out to amuse dolled-up drunks. That may sound a bit silly on paper, but when the hook hit—”I’d rather be wild and living free in my equine dream!”—I genuinely found myself yearning for that exact same thing. Definitely not something I anticipated from some mulleted Aussies!

Split System Climbing EP

Melbourne punks from STIFF RICHARDS, SPEED WEEK, and the BLACK HEART DEATH CULT joined forces to form SPLIT SYSTEM during one of the breaks between their city’s COVID lockdowns. Once back under lockdown, though, the band had to turn into an email project, with each member self-recording their parts at home. But you wouldn’t be able to tell from listening to this thing—it sounds great, thanks in part to a fantastic mix from Mikey Young. The four tracks you’re getting here are a bit early BLACK FLAG, a bit Raw Power STOOGES, and a bit EDDY CURRENT SUPPRESSION RING, which on paper sounds good as hell. But, I don’t know, these songs just aren’t doing it for me. There isn’t anything bad on the release, and everything is competently put together—it’s just that nothing stuck with me once the record was off.

Split System Vol. 1 LP

There must be something in the water down in Australia because every band that has come through there lately has been incredible. Vol. 1 from Melbourne’s SPLIT SYSTEM is of course no exception. This album is what I would expect if the ROLLING STONES decided to try their hands at proto-punk, with the end result sounding like if the NICE BOYS had a heavier ADAM ANT influence. The vocals and lead guitar co-exist beautifully, and are both catchy while avoiding stepping on each other’s toes. Rhythm section is tight and stays in the pocket, letting the guitars shine. Great clean tone from both axes. Lovely record here, and very much recommended.

Split System Bullet / On the Street 7″

Rock’n’punk done right, as only Australians can do. Tattoos, bad haircuts, and repetitive solid riffs. HEARTBREAKERS and STITCHES amphetamine swagger with COLOURED BALLS, SAINTS, or POWER street smarts. I had to send this down under to former MRR punker Adam Caine, as his line of work is HVAC and maybe their name is a reference to such? Can’t choose the better song here ‘cuz they’re both sick as fuck. It’s already sold out, so break into your neighbor’s house and get one. Bonzer!

Street Sweeper Fallin Outta Love (With Myself) EP

Debut release from this hard rockin’, power poppin’ quartet out of Melbourne, comprised of folks from ALTAR BOYS, HYDROMEDUSA, and GRIM RHYTHM (a couple of those gotta be fake band names, right?). You’re getting three tracks that are a fine melange of ROSE TATTOO, COLOURED BALLS, SYLVAIN SYLVAIN, and THIN LIZZY—good-time RnR made by dudes with wispy Cliff Burton mustaches, equally suited for a night out at the pub with your mates or a night in the backseat of your Trans Am with your partner.

V/A GTRRC II LP

This is a little more interesting than your average covers comp, of which most are complete sewage fodder. G.T.R.R.C. is a band made up of members of GEE TEE and RESEARCH REACTOR CORPORATION, both from Sydney, Australia, who love to get together and cover their favorite molden oldies. I believe I got that right but excuse me if I’m mistaken. Also included are many of their international friends, some known and some not so much. The covers stick mostly to ’70s punk, ’80s pop/new wave, and classic and modern garage. The most faithful ones are competent and dull as shit. As with most of these labors of love, the ones that shine a light through the muck are the weirdest and are covers in name only. Favorites here are the two THIN LIZZY covers by SICK THOUGHTS and SPODEE BOY, SNOOPER doing ELO’s “Don’t Bring Me Down,” ERIK NERVOUS’ gut-busting cover of “Raining Blood,” the always great SCHIZOS covering the PERSUADERS’ “Heart Of Chrome,” and BELLY JELLY tearing up the SWINGIN’ MEDALLIONS’ “Double Shot Of My Baby’s Love.” Honestly, it all makes a pretty great party record for gathering with friends or enjoying alone in soul-crushing isolation while enjoying one’s favorite beverage. Drink up. End of days.

V/A Good Times RnR Compilation, Vol. 3 2xLP

What I believe started as a few of the Sydney rock mutants (RESEARCH REACTOR CORP., GEE TEE, and SET-TOP BOX) fartin’ around and playing some covers has now morphed into a full-blown spectacle. After recruiting a bunch of like-minded bands and fleshing the project out into legit comp (2020’s GTRRC II), we now find them pooling their resources with labels Erste Theke Tontraeger, Legless, and Under the Gun to bring you 46—46!—tracks across two whole damn LPs from pretty much every band in the contemporary egg-leaning punk scene. And, look, there are some cool bands on here and some cool songs, but you already know you don’t need this. It’s basically the punk equivalent of a giant sack of Halloween candy. There’s plenty of good stuff in here, but there’s also quite a few Tootsie Rolls, some generic-ass orange and black wrapped taffies, and even a few toothbrushes and pennies. Some sickos are going to sit down and eat the whole bag, and some fun-haters are going to steer clear of it entirely. But most folks are going to pick at the good stuff, setting a few things aside to come back to later. For me that good stuff—the Snickers and Almond Joys, if you will—would include SPODEE BOY (covering STICK MEN WITH RAY GUNS’ “Hell to Pay”), C.O.F.F.I.N. (FUNKADELIC’s “Super Stupid”), SCIENCE MAN (ZZ TOP’s “Sharp Dressed Man”), MUTANT STRAIN (the GERMS’ “Strange Notes”), and SPINAL CRAP (I’m pretty this is SCHIZOS playing ROSE TATTOO’s “Nice Boys”). I’m sure your pile would look a little different.