The internet says that listening to NUKELICKERS may severely damage one’s auditory receptors, but as usual, the internet tends to blow things out of proportion—if you are a real punk, that should not scare or inconvenience you in the least, more so if you chose to listen to the band knowing full well what you were in for. They’re called NUKELICKERS for a reason, it’s like SHITLICKERS going atomic. NUKELICKERS is truly the death of music, I guess in a good way. I could not stand more than eight minutes of the band, and that would already be considered a prolonged listen, but the three-and-a-half minutes of noise on the first side of the split EP feels exhilarating and liberating after a day at work doing as little as possible. This is actually a Berlin-based solo project aimed at destroying preconceived views of what music is supposed to be like. The drums are far too loud, with the crash cymbal being the real star of the show, the guitar is distorted to the max, and the bass sounds like a drunk plane. There is an element of crude, primal Swedish mangel like SHITLICKERS, obviously, but it goes further (or deeper?), and is certainly sweet on old school noisecore like ASYLUM, BIGADA DO ODIO, or RAPT. Strangely hypnotic. On the other side, BIPOLAR is a band from Greenland. Yes, Greenland. Etah City to be accurate. I don’t think I even knew of a punk band there before BIPOLAR. That’s what makes international punk magical, so magical in fact that BIPOLAR happens to worship at the international church of DISCHARGE like myself. With a font copying DISASTER’s, you already know if you are going to like the band’s four songs. Besides the Brits, DISCLOSE appears to be a solid point of reference, and I am reminded of some ’90s Swedish bands like HARASS or DISHONEST. The music sounds a little sloppy at times, which is fine for the style and confers a proper punk feel. They are not the best at this brand of distorted, orthodox D-beat, but they are certainly good enough for me. This is D-beat for the D-beaten. BIPOLAR is a pretty prolific bunch, and there are more recordings on their Bandcamp if you think you are DIS enough. This modest EP reeks of the true DIY punk spirit, it is a short run so don’t sleep on it if you are a die-hard.