The Balboas The Pandemic Singles LP
Horror-themed surf punk from Ohio that delivers dueling reverbed VENTURES-style guitars over ten songs with some notable guests like East Bay Ray, surf icon Dave Wronski, and fucking Dez Cadena (more on him in a second). The accomplished musicianship is impressive, especially on the instrumental tracks. Inventive leads intertwine through propulsive bass and drums, and although very polished, they sound gritty, inspired, and fun. The band has a very specific time-capsule niche—maybe like 1995? We have press photos of the members dressed in Tarantino-esque black suits and shades, kitschy references to Planet of the Apes, Don Ho, and Pat Boone, and that godawful cover art that recalls mid-’90s melodic hardcore. The vocal tracks adhere to this shtick and ruin the rest of the record for me. The spoken/sung lyrics come off as smarmy and goofy coffee shop poetry. Take “Karrot Water Mind Control”: “I have a scratch in my skull that never heals / I got an itch in my head I only scratch from inside / Your solution is toxic and caustic pollution,” delivered in a kind of condescending sing-song. I cringed a little hearing it. Even worse is the cover of BIG BLACK’s “Bad Penny.” Without the dripping menace of Steve Albini’s vocal approach, it comes across as a novelty cover, which is risky when you’re messing with one of punk’s sacred texts. Now back to Dez—when I saw his name, I assumed the track would highlight his broken-glass-gargling rasp, one of the most incredible voices in hardcore history, arguably the best singer of BLACK FLAG. Nope, he doesn’t sing. I guess he’s playing guitar somewhere in the background. WTF?